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CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEW: The Road (2009)

The Road

  • GENRE: Horror / Adventure
  • ACTORS: Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Garret Dillahunt, Michael K. Williams, Molly Parker, Bob Jennings, Agnes Herrmann
  • RATING: R
  • PARENTAL NOTE: Not intended for children. Violence. Cannibalism. Bad language and questionable situations. Nudity.
  • INTENDED AUDIENCE: This movie features cannibalism as a prominent theme. Needless to say, this film is not for everyone. Completely inappropriate for children, most teenagers and many adults.
  • GENERAL PLOT: (No spoilers) The end of the world is a filthy place. No one has enough to eat. Some choose to eat what others would starve before eating. A man and his son prove that evil is never far from home. And by the way, they don’t have a home, either.
  • REVIEW: A while back, when I reviewed another film, I remarked,

    if I had to sum up the mood of [SHERLOCK HOLMES] in one word, that word would be “filth.”

    Actually, I stand corrected. I had no idea what real filth was before I saw THE ROAD. “Dark theme” doesn’t begin to describe the world in which this film takes place. It literally looks like no one has taken a bath, or cleaned anything in the world in the 10 years since a bad case of armageddon broke out. A lot of things are left unexplained in this movie[1. Though events may be explained in the book.] For example, what happened, and what in the world is going on??? How and why did the human race get mostly exterminated? I mention these points in passing, though they really don’t detract from the story. The story itself is mostly plausible, given the underlying premise that most plant and animal life is gone. Whether human beings would sink to the decree of depravity shown in the film is a legitimate point for discussion. This film is at it’s essence the story of the relationship of a father and his son. It shows how they react to the extreme violence and evil on “the road,” and how they deal with their own evil. Though I would hope for better from human nature, I’d be hard pressed to prove that the outcome of the world would be otherwise, given the circumstances presented. Only a speck of hope is allowed to penetrate the dark world on the road. That speck of hope never grows. From a Christian point of view, I wouldn’t argue that this movie presents a Biblical view of the end of the world, or even of the last days. If you are intent on proving THE ROAD has some relationship to the end times as described in the Bible, you could probably find support for your point of view. I think the safer premise is to view THE ROAD strictly as a work of fiction.

  • RECOMMENDATION:[2. If you wonder why zombie themes and horror films have space on a Christian website like K_Line Christian Online, please see my blog post on point] This is a horror movie. Many people will be highly offended by every movie in this genre because of the graphic violence, gore, language and other questionable elements. That being said, many horror movies present these elements in a gratuitous, non-essential manner, purely for shock value and depravity. THE ROAD certainly has graphic violence, gore, language and other questionable elements. There’s even a bit of nudity.[3. The presentation of nudity is not sexual] Yet I wouldn’t call these elements completely gratuitous or non-essential. For the most part, these elements are important in advancing the story, though they did carry shock value and depravity. I liked the movie for it’s strong moral message. That moral message is mostly presented in the father’s increasingly and shockingly BAD behavior. The father faces a situation not unlike that of Job, in the Old Testament. That is, when the the world falls into a complete state of ruin, can a man remain good? And Godly? In the case of Job, we know the answer is “Yes.” Of course, the film makers don’t tell us if the father in this movie was ever a Godly man. Though we do see a reference to prayer presented in the film. You’ll have to wade though the violence in “The Road” to see if the anyone retains their virtues when this world falls apart.
  • RATING (out of 5 stars):

MOVIE RATING SYSTEM:

Start with zero (0) out of five (5) possible STARS

  • Add one STAR if it looks like the movie was made by professional film makers–not 4 or 5 guys with a camcorder.
  • Add one STAR if the film has a story, theme or plot (optional for horror and/or zombie movies); or if the movie makes any sense.
  • Add additional STARS for special effects, acting, good moral message(s), realistic zombies, scariness,
    interesting theme or plot and the like.
  • Subtract STARS for extreme bad acting, COMPLETELY awful themes/messages, overall INCREDIBLE trashiness, graphic and persistent lewdness, and the like.



CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEW: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

    Long Kiss Goodnight
    Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson in The Long Kiss Goodnight

  • GENRE: Action
  • ACTORS: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Malahide, Craig Bierko, Brian Cox, David Morse
  • RATING: R
  • PARENTAL NOTE: Not intended for children. Plenty of cursing and questionable situations. Lots of violence.
  • INTENDED AUDIENCE: This movie is not suitable for children. Many people (me included) will be put off by the degree and nature of violence.
  • GENERAL PLOT: (No spoilers) A school teacher and single parent (Geena Davis) woke up eight years before the movie starts with a bad case of amnesia. She doesn’t know anything about her life or her past. She was two months pregnant, at the time, which was her only clue. She conveniently gets back her memory and “skills” from her previous line of work, just as the bad guys from her former life realize she’s not dead. They prefer her dead.

  • REVIEW: Is a “killing spree” socially, legally or morally acceptable if the the guys being killed work for some people who are pretty bad? I know, this is fiction, and I’ve given higher ratings to movies with a higher overall body count. Maybe there’s a moral message in this movie, but I don’t know what it is. As the kill meter keeps ticking, I have the uncomfortable feeling that maybe a lot of people getting killed aren’t really bad people–rather just “security guards” for bad people. But again, this is only fiction. Although a film of this nature should be excused for not being 100% realistic, this one is peppered with a few too many implausible situations. Example: the two main characters randomly find walkie talkies when overpowering the bad guys at their stronghold. The radios work on a frequency that the two heroes are tuned in to; but none of the bad guys intercept their radio conversation. Another scene shows an explosion on a bridge which is so powerful that it literally rains automobiles (not PARTS of cars, but the entire cars) on the good guys–yet the explosion leaves the good guys, in their car completely unscathed. I’m not sure, but I think that scene breaks some fundamental laws of physics. And one last quibble with the whole movie: Geena Davis is really annoying. I don’t hate ALL of her movies, but her character in this movie is awful. On the other hand, the top grossing actor of all time, Samuel L. Jackson, puts in a solid performance, which someone compensates for Geena Davis.
  • RECOMMENDATION: This is an “Action” movie. Many people will be highly offended by every movie in this genre because of the violence, bad language and other questionable elements. However, even if you are a fan of this genre–I’d recommend you skip this stinker.
  • RATING (out of 5 stars):

MOVIE RATING SYSTEM:

Start with zero (0) out of five (5) possible STARS

  • Add one STAR if it looks like the movie was made by professional film makers–not 4 or 5 guys with a camcorder.
  • Add one STAR if the film has a story, theme or plot (optional for horror and/or zombie movies); or if the movie makes any sense.
  • Add additional STARS for special effects, acting, good moral message(s), realistic zombies, scariness,
    interesting theme or plot and the like.
  • Subtract STARS for extreme bad acting, COMPLETELY awful themes/messages, overall INCREDIBLE trashiness, graphic and persistent lewdness, and the like.



CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEWS: SECRET rating system revealed

In the interest of full disclosure, here are my rating criteria for movies reviewed on K_Line Christian Online…

MOVIE RATING SYSTEM: ()

Start with zero (0) out of five (5) possible STARS

  • Add one STAR if it looks like the movie was made by professional film makers–not 4 or 5 guys with a camcorder.
  • Add one STAR if the film has a story, theme or plot (optional for horror and/or zombie movies); or if the movie makes any sense.
  • Add additional STARS for special effects, acting, good moral message(s), realistic zombies, scariness, interesting theme or plot and the like.
  • Subtract STARS for extreme bad acting, COMPLETELY awful themes/messages, overall INCREDIBLE trashiness, graphic and persistent lewdness, and the like.