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CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEW: The Road (2009)

The movie reviewed here is definitely NOT for children, and probably not for most other people either. Please see my previous post on why films of this ilk are reviewed on a Christian website like K_Line Christian Online.

The Road

  • GENRE: Horror / Adventure
  • ACTORS: Viggo Mortensen, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Garret Dillahunt, Michael K. Williams, Molly Parker, Bob Jennings, Agnes Herrmann
  • RATING: R
  • PARENTAL NOTE: Not intended for children. Violence. Cannibalism. Bad language and questionable situations. Nudity.
  • INTENDED AUDIENCE: This movie features cannibalism as a prominent theme. Needless to say, this film is not for everyone. Completely inappropriate for children, most teenagers and many adults.
  • GENERAL PLOT: (No spoilers) The end of the world is a filthy place. No one has enough to eat. Some choose to eat what others would starve before eating. A man and his son prove that evil is never far from home. And by the way, they don’t have a home, either.

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CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEW: The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

The movie reviewed here is definitely NOT for children, and not for many other people either.

    Long Kiss Goodnight
    Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson in The Long Kiss Goodnight

  • GENRE: Action
  • ACTORS: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Malahide, Craig Bierko, Brian Cox, David Morse
  • RATING: R
  • PARENTAL NOTE: Not intended for children. Plenty of cursing and questionable situations. Lots of violence.
  • INTENDED AUDIENCE: This movie is not suitable for children. Many people (me included) will be put off by the degree and nature of violence.
  • GENERAL PLOT: (No spoilers) A school teacher and single parent (Geena Davis) woke up eight years before the movie starts with a bad case of amnesia. She doesn’t know anything about her life or her past. She was two months pregnant, at the time, which was her only clue. She conveniently gets back her memory and “skills” from her previous line of work, just as the bad guys from her former life realize she’s not dead. They prefer her dead.

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CHRISTIAN MOVIE REVIEWS: SECRET rating system revealed

In the interest of full disclosure, here are my rating criteria for movies reviewed on K_Line Christian Online…

MOVIE RATING SYSTEM: (★★★★★)

Start with zero (0) out of five (5) possible STARS

  • Add one STAR if it looks like the movie was made by professional film makers–not 4 or 5 guys with a camcorder.
  • Add one STAR if the film has a story, theme or plot (optional for horror and/or zombie movies); or if the movie makes any sense.
  • Add additional STARS for special effects, acting, good moral message(s), realistic zombies, scariness, interesting theme or plot and the like.
  • Subtract STARS for extreme bad acting, COMPLETELY awful themes/messages, overall INCREDIBLE trashiness, graphic and persistent lewdness, and the like.

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